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1. I MUST do well, and be liked or else I am a rotten, no good person. This belief is self defeating and irrational because: It is impossible for anyone to do well all of the time. We are fallible human beings who often make mistakes. It is impossible for anyone to do well at everything. As humans we are given a limited amount of time and energy. We may be able to work hard and to "specialize" in a few areas. However, even in those areas it is impossible for us to do well in them at all times. It is self defeating to gage my worth as a person based upon my behaviors. Just because a person makes mistakes does not make him a worthless person. It merely makes him a person who makes mistakes. 2. Others MUST treat me how I want to be treated, or else they are no good rotten people, who deserve to suffer. This belief is self defeating and irrational because: I cannot MAKE others treat me well all of the time. I can do things to make it more likely that they will treat me well. However, in the end I cannot control them. I will frequently not be treated the way that I want to be treated. Just because someone treats me unkindly does that mean that they are a rotten person. They, most likely, have several good attributes- of which I may not be aware. I may be able to rate their behaviors as desirable or undesirable, but their personhood is too complex to rate When others treat me poorly it is often not to my advantage to try to "make them suffer". Getting back at others often leads to an increase in the conflict. Depending upon the extent of my vengeful behaviors I may end up in jail or dead. Even "self defense" has its legal limitations. 3. I MUST have everything I want quickly and easily, and nothing I do not want. This belief is self defeating and irrational because: I will not get everything that I want Most things that I want will not come quickly and easily- but, rather through long, hard, and persistent work. Even then there are not guarantees. Sometimes, if not frequently, things that I do not want happen to me. |
The Three Core Irrational Beliefs of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy |
REBT- CBT NET- The Internet Guide to Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy & Cognitive Behavior Therapy- by Micah Perkins |